If you have been unfortunate enough to enter a conversation with me about the Iliad, I would have undoubtedly ranted to you about how Achilles and Patroclus were lovers. With Valentine’s day soon approaching, it seemed only right that I dedicate this week’s post to what I consider to be the greatest love story ever told.
Although Homer never explicitly mentioned the romantic nature of Achilles and Patroclus’ relationship, their love and desire for one another is indisputable. The idea that they were lovers is an ancient one and many Greco-Roman authors read and delineate their relationship as a romantic one; it was a very accepted interpretation in the ancient world. Pederasty was common practice and there is even a fragment from a lost tragedy of Aeschylus, where Achilles speaks of his and Patroclus’ “frequent kisses”. Homoerotic relationships were a huge part of Greek society and according to the Spartans made men better warriors. The theory was that if you sent two men to war together as lovers, they would defend their land better as they would fight more fiercely to protect each other. This concept of love being a weapon is semi-translated in the Iliad, as Achilles uses his love for Patroclus as the coup de grace.
For me, the most convincing piece of evidence is the incomprehensible depth and manner of Achilles’ grief. Achilles is reluctant to burn Patroclus’ body, demanding instead on protecting the corpse in his tent, where he constantly weeps and embraces it- despite the mortified reactions of those around him. That sense of physical and emotional devastation sang deeply to me of a true and total intimacy between the two men. Achilles reacts with intense and overflowing sorrow and anger.
Here are some of his words which illuminate his love for Patroclus far greater than I could explain.
“My dear comrade is dead- Patroclus- the man I loved beyond all other comrades, loved as my own life- I’ve lost him.”
After Patroclus is killed by Hector, he returns as a ghost and has one final conversation with Achilles:
“A last request- grant it please. Never bury my bones apart from yours, Achilles, let them lie together…So now let a single urn, the gold two-handed urn your noble mother gave you, hold our bones- together.”
Later on, Achilles holds an elaborate and emotional funeral ritual for Patroclus and even places a lock of his own hair in Patroclus’ hands.
These men had only each other to live for when everything else was stripped from then.
Achilles’ demise walked hand in hand with his love for Patroclus. Here we have the greatest half-god warrior to have ever existed who carelessly defies rules and condemns a whole army of men to death, yet he then becomes completely unglued, desperate with grief and rage. Patroclus is not an epic person; the way Achilles is. He is an “ordinary” man with humble beginnings and not gifted with immortality. Yet he possesses more power than he thinks and the instances where he reaches out to others and offers what he views as his very modest assistance have huge positive ramifications. Most of us aren’t Achilles- but we can still be a Patroclus.
This line of thought reminds me of some writing I posted months ago, about how we make ripples in this world far greater than we can imagine. And about how deeply we have touched people in our lives, possibly to an extent we will never discover. I read something a while ago about how according to a mathematician, the average person dies twice. Once when they physically die and again when your name is uttered for the last time, but because each person touches so many lives that on average you are mentioned, if not by name, by reference at least for a thousand years after you are gone. Achilles and Patroclus’ overwhelming love will live long into the future.
I had a conversation a couple of days ago about what it means to be strong, and for me it’s deeply anchored in the kindness someone possesses. It is easy to be harsh to others, but it is gentleness that requires strength. Patroclus and Achilles’ love story has left such a mark on my life. Achilles is the most notorious warrior to have ever roamed our planet, but in my eyes, he is also the greatest lover to ever have existed. When it came down to it, Achilles sacrificed his life to honour Patroclus. Nothing mattered in that moment in time, who he was, what battles he had fought, the fame he could achieve, what he had to live for…the only thing that mattered was how fiercely he could love. This ability to love so fiercely is a universal experience and one that will be remembered.
“In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk. Their hands meet and light spills in a flood, like a hundred golden urns pouring out the sun.”
The two had their ashes mixed together so they could be together for eternity.
- sham x
Happy birthday Doc P x
(I hope I argued my case well enough)
poem of the week:
“the crowds of people scream my name
they say I will be remembered
for centuries,
that no one will forget
who I was.
Yet all I can care for
is how to make you smile,
meet your next kiss-
return your next touch.
lest I die, and you forget. “
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